Pride

This week we have learned so much about pride and how it affects our relationships, in particular marriages. I loved a talk given by President Ezra Taft Benson, found here:

churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1989/05/beware-of-pride?lang=eng

Quotes from talk

"The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s." (President Ezra Taft Benson)

“Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (C.S. Lewis)

"Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves." (President Ezra Taft Benson)

"The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. (See 1 Ne. 16:1–3 .) They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings." (President Ezra Taft Benson)

"The proud do not receive counsel or correction easily. (See Prov. 15:10 ; Amos 5:10 .) Defensiveness is used by them to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures. (See Matt. 3:9 ; John 6:30–59 .)" President Ezra Taft Benson

"Pride is ugly. It says, 'If you succeed, I am a failure.'” (President Ezra Taft Benson)

Personal examples

As I read this talk, as well as the chapters in our other books, I can see that pride does a lot of damage. I've been married almost 20 years. We've experienced our fair share of ups and downs. Luckily the ups outweigh the downs, but I would say pride has been at the heart of most of the downs. We have 5 kids and are incredibly busy. We are both tired and spent by the evening. It's easy to let our guard down and start to think only of ourselves.

I shared the quotes I highlighted above, last night for family night. Just as I see the affects of pride in marriage, I can see them in our family. I have 2 kids who pretty much bristle when the other is in the room. I've shared with them that they came in the order they did (they are the 3rd and 4th kids) because if they can learn to get along with each other, they can get along with anyone. I see a lot of pride in the two and how they treat each other. Teaching them these things with love is key but very hard to do.

"Pride also includes the fact that we honestly believe that we understand our partners and what makes them tick. We presume to understand their thoughts, motives and intent better than even they themselves do." (Goddard H. Wallace, Drawing Heaven into your marriage, pg. 72)
I've certainly been guilty of this. I love how all things this week pointed towards turning to God in repentance and for understanding. We've been encouraged to humble ourselves and admit that we don't have all the answers or know the thoughts and intents of our spouse's (or anyone else's) heart. When I look at this, I feel like mastering this would be such a gift to ourselves as well as those around us. We would, in essence, be acting more like our Savior. At that point, love comes naturally and much easier than when we are fighting for control and judging each other poorly.