Family Life...

We read a poem this week titled, "Lamentation." It was a poem written by Arta Romney Ballif, about Eve and the feelings she had when she found out Abel was dead and Cain was cursed. As I read this poem, I cried. It brought feelings of sadness and despair as it brought to your heart the crushing news that not only had she lost Abel, but it was by the hand of Cain, her other beloved son. Then the poem brings to your realization that she lost Cain in a completely different way and she'd never get him back. As a mom myself, I worry over my children and pray for them daily. I can only imagine the pain of losing two children in the way Adam and Eve did. Yet family life is reflected in their story. Two brothers, two parents. Family life is messy, challenging and at times very hard. On the other hand it's joyful, rewarding and fulfilling in a way I've never experienced.


In the book, “Covenant Hearts by Bruce C. Hafen”, there was a comment about Adam and Eve having no children. In talking about the fall, he said,


“'No children, no misery' but they’d also have no joy." There really is a deep connection between the hard things of life and the best things of life.” (pg. 65-66)

I will be the first to admit that family life can be hard. A few years ago, my (then) 11 year old son was having a severe struggle with his temperament. He's always struggled with anger and handling life but at this point in time it was a massive daily battle to get him to just be decent to his siblings and to myself and husband. I was so distraught and exhausted from the emotional and mental beating I was taking. I remember after an awful argument with him I finally just left the house and went and sat in the car in order to calm myself. I felt so angry and defeated and broken. I prayed and cried and plead and yelled. I felt angry with God for thinking I could handle this. I remember screaming in my mind that if this is how family life was than family wasn't worth it.


I shared this with my mom the next day. She said to me, "Satan was sure working on your heart wasn't he." I've thought a lot about that since. I do think that is a huge tactic he uses. Like the quote above, "no children, no misery but they'd also have no joy." I've learned so much from this son. I have learned love like I've never know before. I've learned forgiveness and humility. I've learned faith and acceptance of the Lord's will and timing. I've learned to let go and let God. I have four other kids, but it's this guy that has taken me through the fire and back. I can say with surety, that this trial is one of my biggest blessings.


I feel like everyone has these stories in their families. It's what life is all about. Getting through tough times together. Strengthening each other along the way. Helping each other home.


“Learning from hard things is what life is about.” (Hafen Bruce C., Covenant Hearts, pg. 72)


In the book, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, Goddard talks a lot about Adam and Eve's choice to be happy amidst the struggles. They were sent out of the garden and into a place that required them to work and struggle. Yet he says it was a blessing for them, not a curse. Through the work and struggle, happiness is found. I know I am happier when I am actively engaged in life. When I grow complacent or lazy, I feel down and negative. Doing good in the world and to other people is where happiness lies.


"Faith is the stubborn resolve to see God blessing us in all circumstances. Even
in our struggles and disappointments, faith requires us to believe God is
ministering to us." (Goddard H. Wallace, Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage, pg. 41)

I choose to believe this. I choose to work on my marriage and family relationships and am grateful for all the things I'm learning in this course and in life.