This week we got to read a lot of talks about the family. President Benson gave a talk called, "What I Hope You Will Teach Your Children About the Temple." In it he listed blessings that come from frequent temple attendance. Two things he listed were:
You will receive the spirit of Elijah, hearts will be turned to your spouse, children, and to your forebears.
You will love your family with a deeper love than you have loved before.


The world that we live in, is increasingly confused. Satan is thoroughly invested in the destruction of families. When I read promised blessings of families hearts being turned to each other and having a deeper love than ever before; I'm inspired to get to the temple and often.


The adversary has long cultivated this overemphasis on personal autonomy, and now he feverishly exploits it. Our deepest God-given instinct is to run to the arms of those who need us and sustain us. But he drives us away from each other today with wedges of distrust and suspicion. He exaggerates the need for having space, getting out, and being left alone. Some people believe him--and then they wonder why they feel left alone. And despite admirable exceptions, children in America’s growing number of single-parent families are clearly more at risk than children in two-parent families. Further, the rates of divorce and births outside marriage are now so high that we may be witnessing “the collapse of marriage.” LDS.org-ensign article-Covenant Marriage


As we all know, "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," came out years before the family was under such attack (in 1995). We see the affects of Satan's efforts to belittle the importance of marriage and to estrange us from each other. When we are in good relationships we are stronger. When we feel lost and alone we are more vulnerable to believe the lies the adversary spins.


I'm so grateful to the good people and leaders in this world who encourage us to take seriously our covenants and family relationships, and especially our relationship with the Lord.

This week we studied Obergefell v. Hodges, from 2015. For a quick overview, nine Justices from the Supreme Court were given the task of deciding whether states had the right to decide if same-sex marriages should be legal or recognized in their individual states. Out of the nine, five voted to force the states and four dissented or disagreed. We studied this topic this week and read a lot of information. Some of it helped me understand the plight of the of gay and lesbian couples; other information helped me understand the importance of holding to traditional values. If I'm completely honest, I've always had a hard time knowing my own firm opinion on topics like this. I have a bit of a bleeding heart and when I hear someone's story, my heart hurts for them. Yet I'm also firm in my faith that God is at the helm of all that is transpiring on this earth. And if, through His prophets, that I have faith in, He says that marriage needs to be between a man and a woman; that's what I'm going to follow.

I actually felt the desire to keep watching/reading the extra articles and videos offered but not required in this week's study. In an article called, "Dear Justice Kennedy: An Open Letter from the Child of a Loving Gay Parent," (Link below) I was extremely touched by the things the author, Katy Faust, had to say. She loved her lesbian mother, her mother's partner, and all their friends and was very supportive of the gay/lesbian community, still she had this to say, "Take it from the adult child of a loving gay parent: redefining marriage promotes a family structure in which children suffer."  She expressed how difficult this subject is to those who both, "love our gay parent(s) and oppose gay marriage." She went on to say, "This debate, at its core, is about one thing. It’s about children. The definition of marriage should have nothing to do with lessening emotional suffering within the homosexual community. The Supreme Court has no business involving itself in romance or interpersonal relationships."
She went on to express that procreation is between a man and a woman. When children are brought into homosexual relationships, she explained that, "Each child is conceived by a mother and a father to whom that child has a natural right. When a child is placed in a same-sex-headed household, she will miss out on at least one critical parental relationship and a vital dual-gender influence. The nature of the adults’ union guarantees this. Whether by adoption, divorce, or third-party reproduction, the adults in this scenario satisfy their heart’s desires, while the child bears the most significant cost: missing out on one or more of her biological parents."
I hadn't really thought about this topic in this way before. While I do believe that people of all walks of life deserve to be treated as children of God, I feel like President Nelson is right in saying, "The day is gone when you can be a quiet and comfortable Christian. Your religion is not just about showing up for church on Sunday. It is about showing up as a true disciple from Sunday morning through Saturday night—24/7! There is no such thing as a “part-time” disciple of the Lord Jesus Christ." (Link to talk below)
I think Katy Faust showed a lot of bravery when declaring that marriage should be between a man and a woman because it does matter, especially for children coming into this world. I know how controversial this topic is, and I want so badly for everyone, including the LGBTQ community to be treated with respect and love. That is the Savior's way. I will continue to teach my kids to be tolerant, respectful and kind, while also standing up for the sacredness of marriage between a man and a woman.

https://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2015/02/14370/?utm_source=The+Witherspoon+Institute%20utm_campaign=782782f4d4-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN%20utm_medium=email%20utm_term=0_15ce6af37b-782782f4d4-84114781

https://speeches.byu.edu/wp-content/uploads/pdf/Comm_2014_Aug_Nelson.pdf

I'm in a Marriage class at BYU-I. We get the opportunity to post in a blog we've created once a week. I'll be sharing insights and thoughts I've had regarding the information I'm learning.


In our studies this week, there was so much information from experts and church leaders concerning marriage and divorce. In the community I was raised in, marriage was important. You didn't go into it lightly and you didn't get out of it lightly. I knew that it was something you fought for and clung to and in rare cases it didn't work out. I'm 40 now and times are changing. A trend I see is a lack of commitment. Maybe it's because marriage is a lot of work emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. Maybe it's become too easy to get a divorce. I think a lot of things can be factored in.


In Amato's article, The Future of Children, 15(2), 75-96, he talked a lot about the effect divorce has on kids. This article caused me some sadness as I read how affected kids are when divorce happens. I have some personal experience with a sibling who has seen a fair share of heartache due to a divorce and all it's affects. Because children were involved, it's been very complicated and heart wrenching for them all. While toxic relationships are necessary to get out of or remedy, I can see why we are counseled to not enter divorce lightly and to make things work if at all possible. I know this isn't always an option but it's a very important reality that our kids need to learn as they get older.


President Kimball had this to say,"…only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” I can see that we are here. Families are falling apart. The family unit is being challenged on every front. I realize how important it is to keep teaching my kids the value of the family. Family life is complicated, but it's where we learn resilience, forgiveness and unconditional love. I want to teach my kids to go into marriage, expecting to not only get through the tough times but come out stronger, because commitment matters. Having family night (even though my teenage sons grumble) and teaching them the gospel through nightly scripture study with Come Follow Me are ways to stay connected to each other and the Lord.


President Oaks had this to say in his talk entitled Divorce: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2007/05/divorce?lang=eng


A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.


For those who are struggling in their marriage, Elder Oaks once again some good advice from the same talk listed above. He said, "I strongly urge you and those who advise you to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness. The first step is not separation but reformation. Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartache.If you are already descending into the low state of marriage-in-name-only, please join hands, kneel together, and prayerfully plead for help and the healing power of the Atonement. Your humble and united pleadings will bring you closer to the Lord and to each other and will help you in the hard climb back to marital harmony."


I found these words to be inspiring. I've been married almost 20 years and can see where selfishness has crept in at times. Sometimes more than I'd like to admit. I appreciate Elder Oak's candor in saying things that we don't always want to hear but if we're honest, hold a lot of validity. It encourages me to work harder on my marriage and on myself individually.