Emotional and Sexual Intimacy

Fidelity and Sexual Intimacy

This week we've been learning about fidelity and sexual intimacy in marriage. It's been an interesting topic. We've learned that there are boundaries that should be stayed within in marriage and outside of marriage. We've learned some of the pitfalls people fall into with regards to inappropriate relationships outside of marriage that can start innocently enough but can lead us to turn our hearts to a person other than our spouse. We've learned that sexual intimacy within a marriage is a beautiful thing that is meant to deepen our love and closeness with each other. We've also learned that a lot of young people grow up thinking that sex is negative because of the way it's been presented to them over the years.

Quotes and thoughts

In reality, however, sexuality is a beautiful power given to mankind from God. President Kimball has observed: “The Bible celebrates sex and its proper use, presenting it as God-created, God-ordained, God-blessed. It makes plain that God himself implanted the physical magnetism between the sexes for two reasons: for the propagation of the human race, and for the expression of that kind of love between man and wife that makes for true oneness. His commandment to the first man and woman to be ‘one flesh’ was as important as his command to ‘be fruitful and multiply.’” (Quoting Billy Graham, Ensign, May 1974, p. 7.)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1986/09/they-twain-shall-be-one-thoughts-on-intimacy-in-marriage?lang=eng (Links to an external site.)

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I love that this lesson helped us see the beauty in sexual intimacy with our spouses. It is a gift given to us to not only be able to be co-creators with God, but to give our whole selves in a very real and vulnerable way to our spouses.

"Today Satan attacks us with subtle and indirect means. He gets us inappropriately close to someone who is not our spouse under the guise of missionary work, friendship, or helpfulness. He subtly builds inappropriate emotional bonds while quieting our consciences with weak rationalizations. Perhaps this is Satan's favorite ploy with those who desire goodness and are filled with compassion." (Goddard 2009, p. 89)

I found this last quote to be disarming. I can see what a subtle tool this is. It's interesting to see how Goddard used the words "goodness" and "compassion" to describe the type of people Satan goes after with this tactic. I've seen it with people I know. Good people who get caught up in seemingly innocent relationships with someone outside of marriage. One friend I know, reached out to a man she knew in high school who was going through a pretty messy divorce. The divorce was between two people who were both from her home town so people were taking sides and there was a lot of ugliness. She wanted him to know he wasn't alone. My friend is married with children. When she told me she'd been talking with him, I immediately saw the red flags. I wasn't alone. There were many of us who were warning her that this wasn't a good idea. She insisted it was completely innocent. Luckily, after a month of her helping him through this, it was her mom that finally got through to her. She was very blunt and warned her very strongly that this was wrong and could lead to roads she wasn't wanting to go down. My friend finally stopped that communication. I have no doubt that had she kept pursuing it, something that started out innocent and with good intentions, could have destroyed her marriage. She is a good and compassionate person. The exact type described in the quote above, that Satan goes after.

"Those who resist the lure and guile of Satan, those who honor covenants, those who tend the little garden of their own covenants, will enjoy sweetness in this life and rewards unmeasured in the world to come." (Goddard, 2009, p. 96)